This article discusses how excessive worry can make you less confident and skeptical of your actions, but it can also have a positive side effect of making you more prepared for different variables. Experience and examples are used to show that while excessive worry can hinder fulfillment and success, appropriate worry can prevent problems and lead to better outcomes.
On an unseasonably chilly Thursday evening in October, six of my club members and I were wandering the streets of the university, which had become quieter during exam season. We were trying to raise money for our upcoming performance in November by asking for sponsorship from the owners of bars and restaurants frequented by students. Our plan was simple. We walked into a suitable establishment, made sure the owner was present, explained what we were doing, and asked if they would be willing to sponsor us, even for a small amount. If the owners were generous or generous enough, they would give us $5 to $20 in cash, and if they couldn’t afford it, they would politely decline, saying that they were sorry. My goal for the day was to walk around the different shops on University Street and collect about $100. However, while doing this simple task, I found myself discovering my inner meanie.
From the first time I received the text, “Gather on University Street by 8:00,” I was skeptical. I didn’t think the shop owners had anything to gain by sponsoring us. I was sure it would be hard to get sponsorship when the economy wasn’t doing well and customers were sparse during the exam period. So when it came time to ask for sponsorship, I was the last of the six of us, cowering in the back. I did this for two reasons. First, I didn’t want to be embarrassed because I didn’t think I would get sponsored anyway, and second, I thought that I would be more likely to get sponsored if I asked someone with a strong personality. In the middle of the process, my senior asked me to go to two stores and ask the bosses directly, but they both refused. The two failures solidified the idea that “I can’t do it,” and in the end, I didn’t get a single penny of sponsorship in two hours.
I was extremely skeptical that day, and it showed in my lack of confidence. My worries about not being able to get sponsored were only allayed when I realized that I could actually collect $5 and $10 pledges to reach $100. Being shy and worried that I would be rejected if I asked for a sponsorship, my two failures only reinforced my doubts and further distanced me from the shopkeeper. Eventually, when everyone else entered the shop, I was standing awkwardly in the back holding my poster. If I had stopped worrying and asked confidently, I might not have had two failures and frustrations, and I might have felt a sense of accomplishment that I had gotten the sponsorship on my own. But that day, I didn’t feel any sense of accomplishment for two hours.
Like the negative connotations of the word “worry,” being a worrier is generally considered a negative trait. Worrying tends to make you seem unconfident and indecisive. Worriers are skeptical, so they don’t make decisions easily, and they constantly second-guess themselves. Even when they finally do have to make a decision, they continue to worry and are more likely to end up with a mixed result. This is why people with what is often referred to as “decision disorder” often have an underlying worrying problem. Furthermore, worrying leads to stress, which can make you mentally tired, affect your physical health, and negatively impact your interpersonal relationships by causing irritability and nervousness.
However, being a worrier in the modern world doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In some ways, worry can be seen as an objective way of anticipating and preparing for the future. Worrying is evidence of considering multiple variables and preparing for a situation in advance. This cautious attitude can be a huge advantage in the modern world, where there are many things to consider. For example, consider a high school student facing a university entrance exam. If a student is optimistic and believes that the test will be easy and doesn’t prepare enough, or if a student is worried that the test will be difficult and prepares hard, the latter will naturally have better results. Worrying doesn’t necessarily have negative consequences, but rather can be an important attitude that prepares you for the future.
Nevertheless, too much worry can be poisonous. In my experience, when things I’ve worried about have happened, they’ve usually turned out to be less of a problem than I expected. Even if something big did happen, it was usually something I couldn’t prepare for. In these situations, if the worry didn’t pay off, it was probably better not to worry at all. Furthermore, people who worry a lot tend to start worrying again even after the event is over.
Take the university entrance exam as an example. If a student worries that the test will be difficult and prepares hard, but doesn’t perform as well as expected, he or she will remember the pain he or she went through in preparation. They might remember not sleeping the night before the test, or throwing up their breakfast the morning of the test due to nerves. He or she will then regret that it would have been better if they hadn’t worried. This regret eventually leads to more worry, and the cycle repeats itself.
So what can a skeptic do to stop worrying too much? It would be unreasonable to ask someone who has been in the habit of worrying for so many years to break it easily, and since it’s a matter of mindset, there’s no manual. In the end, you have to work on yourself and change your attitude. It’s important to think positively and build confidence instead of worry. You need to believe in yourself and have a relaxed mindset that you can solve problems when they arise rather than worrying about them in advance.
If you have a recurring worry, you can try to intentionally encounter the situation more often. If you do this enough times, you’ll naturally realize that you don’t need to worry about it. For example, I’m particularly nervous about asking strangers for favors, so when a group of us go to a restaurant, I deliberately take on the task of ordering the food or calling an older person I don’t know to ask for dues. If you do this enough times, there will come a point when you realize that your worries were unnecessary.
Of course, I don’t blame myself for worrying a lot. Excessive stress is harmful, but moderate stress is beneficial because it stimulates the body and mind. In the same way, too much worry is a problem, but moderate worry is beneficial for living in the modern world. I used to be a worrier myself, so I prepared for everything. Even if I didn’t make a decisive decision, I thought things through carefully and made fewer mistakes. I believe that I am the person I am today because I was prepared and prepared in advance through worrying. The process of recognizing and reflecting on one’s problems shows the potential to grow into a better person. No one is perfect in this world. Everyone grows by discovering and fixing their own problems. Being skeptical is definitely helpful in this regard. So I’m sure that even I, a worrier, will become a better person.
