Depression can stem from feelings of self-blame, self-compassion, and self-pity. Here’s a look at how these emotions contribute to depression and how to overcome them, based on the theories of clinical psychologist Paul A. Hauck.
Depression is a condition in which feelings of sadness or lethargy persist for more than two weeks and interfere with daily life. Depression is divided into major depression and minor depression, depending on the severity of the symptoms. If the symptoms are not severe enough to be considered an illness, or if the symptoms last less than two weeks, it is called subclinical depression. Depression is very common in South Korea, with 72.3% of the population experiencing subclinical depression within a year. However, even if it is subclinical depression, it is likely to develop into pathological depression if left untreated because the symptoms are mild and common. Treating severe depression requires months of antidepressant medication, so it’s important to recognize depression in its early stages. In this article, we’ll show you how to overcome mild depression according to clinical psychologist Paul A. Hauck.
According to Paul A. Hauck, there are three main causes of psychological depression. The first is self-blame, the second is self-compassion, and the third is compassion for others. Let’s take a look at how each of these causes can lead to depression and how you can overcome these thoughts.
First, let’s look at self-blame. Self-blame, which is the belief that you are worthless or a bad person, makes you depressed. If self-blame persists, the feeling of depression will persist and eventually lead to depression. It’s harmful to your mental health and should be avoided. So, what can you do to get rid of self-criticism? Self-criticism is mainly caused by guilt. When you do something wrong, you feel guilty and see yourself as a bad person. It’s easy to think that guilt will make you try not to repeat the same mistake, and you might even think that torturing yourself is an act of punishment. But that’s a mistake. Excessive guilt can lead to self-criticism, which can cause you to repeat the mistake out of despair. It’s also very self-centered to think that guilt will make you feel less guilty. The victim would much rather have a sincere apology or restitution than have you suffer from guilt. When you do something wrong, don’t wallow in guilt, but instead apologize sincerely to the victim and accept and forgive yourself for your mistake. Analyzing your mistake afterwards and making efforts to prevent it from happening again will yield much better results than wallowing in guilt.
Next is self-compassion. Self-pity is the feeling of feeling sorry for yourself or dissatisfied with yourself. There are two situations where you might feel self-pity. The first is when something unfortunate happens to you. When something unfortunate happens, you see yourself as an unfortunate person, and you fall into a state of depression. In this state, you can’t think of anything positive, and you focus on the unfortunate events, which can lead to depression. To overcome this, you need to accept that unfortunate events in life are unavoidable. When something unfortunate happens, it’s important to focus on how to overcome it instead of feeling sorry for yourself. The second is putting others first and being afraid of rejection. You may not be able to express your feelings or say no to other people’s requests because you think you’re not good enough. In these situations, you may feel depressed because you can’t release the frustration you’ve accumulated with others. In order to get out of self-pity, you need to realize that your feelings are just as important as the feelings of others.
Lastly, altruism is when you feel sad about other people”s misfortunes as if they were your own. Excessive empathy for other people’s misfortunes can lead to depression. In fact, a social worker once became depressed because she sympathized too much with the suffering of the poor people she encountered in her work, and an elderly gentleman became depressed because he sympathized too much with the unfair experiences of his friends. Not only does this kind of sympathy provide no real help to the unfortunate person, but it is also harmful to your own mental health. If you want to help others, it’s better to offer practical help or words of comfort instead of unconditional sympathy.
So there you have it, Paul A. Hauck’s three causes of depression and their solutions, but I believe they all stem from one underlying cause. The common thread is an inability to let go of the depressing and unhappy past and keep reliving it. You can’t forget your mistakes, reminisce about your unhappy past, and dwell on the misfortunes of those close to you. Everyone experiences both happy and unhappy things in life. However, if you only relive depressing and unhappy memories, and make short work of happy moments, you’re bound to get depressed. If you feel like you’re an unhappy person and you’re suffering from depression, try to focus on the future instead of the past, which you can’t change. Even if you’ve been depressed for a long time and haven’t done anything about it, you’ll experience failures and setbacks at first, but if you keep trying, you’ll achieve satisfying results. This result will take you away from your past misery. Think about the future rather than the past, and you’ll be less likely to face depression.
