This article discusses the human tendency to want recognition when doing good deeds, even though we shouldn’t expect anything in return. It discusses the beauty and value of secret good deeds, emphasizing that the true value of a good deed is not the recognition, but the motivation that leads to other good deeds.
In life, there are times when you can help someone who really needs it and save them from a major crisis, or conversely, you can help someone and make their situation better. The person who is saved from a crisis by your help expresses gratitude in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, however, a good deed is done without expecting anything in return, and you feel bad when people don’t recognize it or take it for granted. In this case, I feel like I’m losing out if the person doesn’t know about my good deed, so I feel better if I let them know about my good deed, either directly or indirectly.
For example, I once lent a calculator to a friend sitting next to me during an exam because he didn’t bring his own, but after the exam was over, he was so relieved that the exam was over that he seemed to forget about my good deed. I ended up laughing and jokingly saying, “You know, if it wasn’t for me, you would have failed the test, right?” Even though I hadn’t really gone to that much trouble. We’ve all done good deeds at one time or another, even if we didn’t expect anything in return, and we’ve all felt disappointed when people don’t recognize them.
When I say good deeds, I don’t just mean materially helping others, but any act of kindness that helps others, such as giving a kind word to someone who is having a hard time. The grandmother who donated money from her lifetime of selling kimbap to a university, or the person who jumped into the subway to save a man who had jumped in front of her, are all examples of good deeds. Another example of a good deed is a donation from a large corporation. While these donations may have ulterior motives, such as reducing taxes or creating a corporate image, they are still good deeds. The difference between the two cases is the motivation behind the good deed.
If you look at the examples of people who have consistently done good deeds over the years, they don’t expect anything in return. They are motivated by the rewarding feeling they get from doing good deeds and purely out of love for others. On the other hand, if a large corporation made a donation to reduce its tax rate or improve its image, it would stop doing good deeds if it could no longer profit from them. In other words, the greatest value of a good deed is the motivation to inspire other good deeds.
The Bible says, “Let your relief be in secret, so that your left hand does not know what your right hand is doing.” It says that God rewards those who do good in secret. While I don’t seek God’s reward, I often recognize the value of this saying in my life. I believe that when you do a good deed, you shouldn’t try to make a big deal about it or publicize it. If you don’t make a big deal about it, the person you helped will eventually realize it for themselves, and they will be much more grateful.
I once experienced the value of someone doing a good deed for me in secret. It happened a long time ago in the military. I was a rookie in the army, less than three months into my enlistment, and we were assigned a senior and a junior soldier for night watch duty. However, something went wrong with the night watch the previous day, and the four groups of eight people who performed the watch were punished. So the four seniors and four juniors were sent on a 25-kilogram, fully armed mountain walk.
I was very weak in physical fitness. I hadn’t had time to exercise since I was deployed to the army, and I hadn’t been particularly active before I enlisted. The unit I served in had many senior soldiers who were soccer players and bodybuilders, so I was even more out of shape than they were. The terrain was steep climbs and unpaved mountain trails, so it was very difficult for me to complete the march without stopping to rest. According to military rules, if you are punished, all but the first few people to finish will be punished again. I ran hard with the intention of finishing in one go.
After running for a while, I looked back and saw three or four senior soldiers lagging behind. As expected, they were punished once more, but at the time I just thought that I was able to finish because I ran hard. However, I soon realized that these were all senior soldiers with athletic backgrounds and that they had intentionally slowed down for their juniors. They didn’t mention their good deed when they were punished, only encouragement for their efforts. When I asked them about it later, they made the excuse that they had sprained their ankles, but anyone could see that was a lie.
The good deed I received then has stayed with me to this day. Even though the senior soldiers could only take the punishment once for themselves, they did it again for the weaker juniors. I can never forget the heart they showed and the sacrifice they made. The good deed went unspoken, and I am still grateful for it.
