I have loved animals since I was a child, and my life with a dog named Popcorn has deepened my appreciation for life and the meaning of death. In particular, Popcorn’s health issues as he aged and his eventual death made me realize the different emotions and importance of death in our lives.
I have always loved animals, not just because they are cute, but because of the mystery and reverence I have for life. As a result, I have owned everything from a 500 won chick I used to sell in front of my school to hamsters, goldfish, rabbits, and dogs.
I met “Popcorn” when I was in the fifth grade. I begged and pleaded with my parents to get a puppy, and they agreed on the condition that I would study hard and take care of him. That’s how I got Popcorn in 2003. But before he could get to know my family, he contracted pneumonia. Pneumonia is a dangerous disease for puppies, and the hospital wasn’t convinced that he could be saved, but he was hospitalized and treated. After visiting the hospital every day to take care of him, he gradually got better and was eventually discharged. Since then, ‘Popcorn’ has lived with us in our home.
Popcorn was a Bichon Frise, a dog with the title of devil dog, and was full of energy and activity. At home, he would run around the house once a day playing mischief. He loved to throw a toy and run to fetch it, and he never got tired of putting it down and waiting for me to throw it again, over and over again. Of course, I also loved to go for walks, but once we were outside, I would run until I was exhausted. Unfortunately, being in middle school and high school, I didn’t have a lot of time to take him for walks, so I took him out for air about once a week.
Dogs live for about 15 years. They say that a year for humans is about seven years for dogs. Popcorn went from a baby to an old dog while I went from a child to an adult. During my senior year of high school, right before the SATs, I went for a walk as usual. When I got home, I showered and continued to gasp for air for hours afterward. I’ve always been able to catch my breath after a bout of pneumonia as a child, but I’ve never struggled for so long. We took him to the vet for x-rays and an examination. The vet said it was because of the pneumonia he had as a child. When he was younger, he was fine, but as he got older, it became a problem. Unfortunately, we couldn’t take him for walks after that. He still wanted to go out and spent a lot of time staring out the window.
While I took the SATs, entered college, and went to the army, Popcorn got older and older. He slept more and became sick more often. I gradually started to think about death, which I hadn’t thought about when I first got him. Death comes to everyone. No matter how rich or famous you are, you can’t escape death. Even Qin Shi Huang, who unified China, searched the world for immortality, but he couldn’t escape death. In modern times, medical advances have made it possible to postpone death, but it will eventually come to everyone.
For Popcorn, that time came. It was a normal day in July 2015 when Popcorn woke up, went to the bathroom, and went about his normal routine. Suddenly, he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, but it was too late. I knew this day would come because he was an old dog, but it was so sudden. For more than 10 years, he had been coming into my room every day, waking me up, and greeting me every time I came home. The thought of never seeing him again brought tears to my eyes. I regretted that if I had known this would happen, I would have given her something delicious yesterday and made her prettier.
Even at this moment, someone somewhere is dying. But the meaning of that death is different for each individual. It depends on your relationship with the person who died. Depending on your relationship with the person, how important or close you were, the grief and meaning will vary. Because death is an interruption of interaction and relationship. They are no longer there. We feel sad because we will never see them again, because they were so normal and familiar. Maybe there is also regret: regret that we didn’t do a good job because we didn’t think the end would come.
The various emotions felt through death make us realize the importance of the present. If you have loved and served your loved one as best you can, you will have less regret in your grief after death. Everyone dies, and there is no way to avoid it. In the end, a certain amount of grief is inevitable. However, you can minimize your grief by making the person you’re with feel valued and giving them your best.
No matter how much we think about death, when it actually happens, the feeling of loss and deprivation is great. The absence of someone close to us is especially felt. However, it’s not all negative. Paradoxically, there are many positive aspects of death. What if we thought about death at least once?
