We all have shortcomings, and it’s important to try to overcome them. In particular, recognizing our shortcomings and working to fix them is how we can achieve true growth. I’m thinking about what I can do to change and grow, and I want to emulate my friend A, who overcame his shortcomings.
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws, even if they seem perfect on the outside. Even the greatest people in history had their own complexes and shortcomings. These imperfect people can be divided into three main categories. The first is those who don’t recognize their flaws. The second are those who recognize their flaws, but are unable to fix them. Many people fall into this second category. Finally, there are those who recognize their flaws and work on them. They listen to the opinions of others, and through self-reflection, they recognize their shortcomings and work on them.
I belong to the second category. Throughout my life, I’ve been more or less aware of my shortcomings, either on my own or through others, and some of them have remained the same over time: I’m timid and not assertive. It’s not easy to recognize these things and fix them at the same time. Therefore, I consider “reflection and change” to be the highest value, and I want to emulate people who have overcome these points.
In high school, I had a friend who showed me the importance of reflection and change. In my freshman year of high school, I had a classmate named A. He was an amazing person. She was one of the smartest people I knew, but she was also cold and logical. He was so assertive and abrasive that conversations with him always felt exhausting. Whether it was an assignment, a question, or even a card game, he would get angry at the slightest mistake and create an uncomfortable atmosphere. His strong and inconsiderate attitude hurt me many times over the course of a year, and I became distant from him. One day, she said to me, “I think I’ve been living too wrong from middle school to last year,” and started to change. She became less angry, less assertive, and more complimenting of others. Suddenly, she was no longer the friend who made people feel uncomfortable, but the friend who could communicate her thoughts clearly and still be considerate of others.
Some people may think that changing easily is a sign of indecision, of being unselfconscious and being swayed by others’ opinions. However, indecision and reflection are very different. There is no such thing as a changeable person or a trait that is easy to fix. Nevertheless, when you feel the need to change because you agree with someone else’s words or your own thoughts, you put in a lot of effort to change, that’s reflection. On the other hand, we don’t always change to fit in with others. The example of A above illustrates the difference between indecision and reflection. A is logical and assertive, especially in criticism and debate. I am weak in debates because I am not sure whether I am for or against something and lack confidence that my ideas are right, but A is respectful of others’ opinions, points out logical inconsistencies, and clarifies her own ideas. As a result, debates often lean toward A’s opinion, and when listening to music or movies, he has his own criteria and makes clear evaluations.
In this way, A is able to change through reflection, but maintains her own subjectivity and logic. She was a friend I didn’t like until my freshman year of high school, but now she is a good friend who has good social skills and can objectively look at my behavior and attitude as well as my shortcomings and point out what is wrong. I want to be a person like her who can correct her own shortcomings and those of others.
