In the process of becoming an adult, we often lose sight of the values that we hold dear, as I found myself forgetting the value of concessions in the midst of fatigue and conflict after entering college. However, in order to become a true adult, we must constantly look at ourselves, reflect, and strive to become a better person.
When I was in high school, I thought college students with their pretty clothes and squeaky high heels looked the coolest in the world, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw them walking past in groups. To me, being a college student was something to aspire to, but for some reason, my life after becoming a college student, which I wanted so badly, seems to be getting uglier and uglier. Maybe I’m experiencing the innocent enthusiasm and ideals of childhood slowly fading away as I face the realities of adulthood. The weight of responsibilities and realities that come with adulthood is making me more and more exhausted.
Every day, I commute to school by subway and bus for two hours round-trip, and the fatigue often piles up. On the way home in the evening, I scour the subway car with a hawk’s eye for empty seats, and if someone shows any sign of waking up, I rush over and shove my butt in their face. The most profound moment of conflict is when I finally find a seat and there are old people standing in front of me. I would avoid eye contact while thinking, “Should I pretend to sleep, or what if I’m really tired?
It was a day in my second semester of college when the excitement and anticipation had worn off. I was struggling with a similar conflict as usual, but this day was different. The old lady in front of me was sweating profusely while carrying two large boxes, and I was feeling even more tired and overwhelmed by the day. As I laid my head down and contemplated, the comfort of the moment almost triumphing over my conscience, my gray-haired grandfather, who was sitting next to me, hesitantly stood up and made room for her. She insisted that it was all right, that it was all right, but he insisted that he would get off at the next station, and he forced her back to her seat. Then he didn’t get off at the next station, or the next, or the one after that, or the one I was getting off at, and I, the “young man,” sat there, red-faced and still. I was ashamed of myself, for just a moment ago I had been so full of determination to never lift my heavy body. It wasn’t because I had turned away from her. It was because I was reminded of my old self.
I went to a boarding high school 23 subway stops away from home. Once a month, on the day I went home from class, I’d pack up a half-dozen books, a load of unfinished laundry, and other miscellaneous items and board the subway and bus. There were many similar situations back then, but looking back, I always got out of my seat in the end. My conscience always overcame my physical comfort after an uphill struggle. But now, less than a year after graduating, I have already started to close my eyes and ears to the sound of my conscience. I thought, “Is this what it means to be an adult, to become a blind human being who has turned a blind eye to precious values one by one? If this is what it means to be an adult, I really didn’t want to be an adult. In the process of growing up, our values and moral standards are often tested, but it is through these tests that we are on the path to becoming a true adult.
I confess, I’m not one of those people who thinks that concessions are always a virtue, and I even get a little angry when I see people standing in front of me when I see that the seat for the elderly is empty. Judging by the various comments on the videos of old and young people arguing in the subway that often appear on portal sites, I’m not the only one who thinks this way. Obviously, giving up your seat is giving up your right to sit there, so it’s your freedom to do so, and I don’t think anyone has the right to criticize you for it, especially when you don’t really know the circumstances of the situation and you’re just posting a video of what you see. Someone may have lost a loved one that day, or someone may have rejected a job interview for the hundredth time and felt like the world had abandoned them. It would be inconsiderate and inconsiderate to criticize someone in public for not giving up their seat on the subway. But at the same time, we should try to understand each other’s situation. It’s important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their difficulties. This is the starting point for true consideration and compromise.
But we all have a responsibility as members of this society to make this space we live in a better place. Taken to the extreme, if you have a society where no one makes concessions and a society where everyone makes concessions, it’s self-evident which society will have a higher quality of life and be happier. From a happiness perspective, I believe that a single concession made by an individual may cause immediate discomfort and have a negative impact on happiness, but if that concession triggers many others to make concessions, it will have a positive effect on the happiness of the individual and society as a whole. In this sense, I felt ashamed that I had acted against my values that day, even though I was tired and in a good enough state to give up my seat to my grandmother.
Everyone in the world has a different set of values. Whatever values you hold dear, I believe they become the center of your life, your way of life, and ultimately define you. The worst thing you can do in the world is to abandon your values for any reason. The moment you give in to temptation and let go of your values, the moment you let go of the support of your life, the human identity of “me” disappears. Giving up your seat on the subway when you see someone less fortunate than you may seem like nothing in the moment. But the moment I give up the important value of conscience, the value that is the center of my life, I become the worst human being in the world. The one bright spot is that I am still a human being capable of looking back and reflecting on my actions. I believe that only when I admit my mistakes and constantly strive to be a better human being will I truly become an adult. I’m still a long way from being an adult, but I’m taking hopeful steps every day. Life is a constant learning and reflection. We are at a crossroads every moment, and the choices we make collectively shape our lives. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and missteps and strive to be better. That’s the true process of growth, the path to adulthood.
